The Power of the First Session

On paper, the first session with a counsellor or therapist can look a bit wasted in terms of healing. But over time I’ve come to realise that the first session can be one of the most powerful for both you, the client, and the counsellor. Let me explain.

There’s lots to do in the first session: the counsellor needs to make sure that everyone is on the same page about important ethical concerns such as confidentiality. There might be an assessment form to go through, so the counsellor can capture information about why you are coming to counselling. Some discussion about practical matters such as scheduling, parking and payment might have to take place. The 50 minutes can seem to fly by, taken up by this kind of ‘housekeeping’.

But underneath the surface there’s a lot more going on. You might find the counsellor’s manner at this early stage works for you: it’s calm, efficient, and makes you feel like you’re in safe hands. Or maybe the opposite is true and you find it overbearing, nitpicky and like they know best. It’s vital that you listen to this response from yourself, as the most important factor in counselling being effective has been found to be the relationship with the counsellor. If that relationship gets off on a bad foot it can be very difficult (but not impossible) to get it onto a good one.

But what if you need to be able to see this specific counsellor? Maybe they work with the issue you’re struggling with when not many people do. Or perhaps they are local to you in an area where there aren’t many counsellors available. If this is the case then one of the most useful (and scary) things you could do for yourself is tell the counsellor how you are feeling about what’s happening in the session. The response you get will tell you if it’s worth persevering or if this counsellor is not a good fit for you. The counsellor who dismisses your concerns because this is ‘the way they do things’ is probably not right for you. But a counsellor who listens and adjusts according to your needs might be a good fit after all.

The first session is a chance for both you and the counsellor to start to build a relationship with each other. Sometimes that falls at this initial hurdle, but often it lays a strong foundation for the work to come.

If you’d like to see if I’m the right counsellor for you, I offer a free 20 minute phone call for an informal chat. No ‘housekeeping’, just a quick vibe check before you decide to book that first session.